Amnesia

Have you seen 'Finding Nemo'? Remember Dorie? Well, I remember her, and its quite incredible that I do, because I am quite like her myself. I remember nothing! This is recent development, in the last few years I think, that I can manage to conveniently forget things. It helps most of the times, because your friends don't expect you to remember anything, and over time start forgiving your forgetfulness. It helps in many other ways as well; I won't go into the details, but the end result is that my amnesia keeps me a happy man. At times I am engaged in a conversation, and if anything stops my flow of thoughts, I completely forget what I was talking about! At other times I'm reminded of things I have no idea I ever did.

I saw such a photograph recently, and my memory completely failed me. It is Sonny and me, in my room's (or maybe Sonny's) balcony. In all probability this snap was taken with Bobby's camera. All of that I can infer, but I don't remember having posed that way! Knowing how boring I can be, I would have expected myself to remember having done that, but a lot seems to have passed through my 2 bit shift register since.

It's a funny sight nevertheless. Its impossible I was drunk, I really have no Idea what prompted this. Maybe Sonny can shed some light while all of you have a good laugh! (I have removed the color and done a bit of curve tweaking to improve contrast on this one. The original one has rather gaudy orange ambient light. You can see it on Sonny's Blog)

I have amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before!

Updated:

Finally, for once, I did remember. It was this photograph that prompted our actions. I am still scared of putting the actual picture up, so I have used the new ultra cool Photoshop CS 3 Extended Beta, for morphing it a bit ;) Just a consolation, some day in the future, when this post moves out of the front page, I will replace it with the unmorphed snap. Until then....

Labels: Life

The (only?) way to a womans heart.

Got this forward recently, and saw the accompanying Video a little earlier. They seem to go well together, so I'm putting em both here for the sake of a few laughs.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that B---- knows I'm smarter than her.

The video may be a little exaggerated but not entirely incorrect! I do completely love this more because of the caffeine!

Labels: Life

The Orkut game IN BED

I was wasting time on orkut recently, when I came across a game going on in a community. It was simple really. All you had to do was add "in bed" to your fortune for the day. Some of the resulting 'fortunes' were rather interesting, but then I was cynical as I am about these things. I did start paying attention to my own fortune on a daily basis (and to that of others) and well, here are the results. Add yours in the comments...

Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you IN BED.

Your principles mean more to you than any money or success IN BED.

You will have some wonderful new experiences IN BED.

You are never selfish with your advice or your help IN BED.

Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress IN BED.

You will be recognized and honored as a community leader IN BED.

Behind an able man, there are always other able men IN BED

These are all the fortunes I've seen since I started writing this post. As you can see, it never fails. Special thanks to people who plaster their fortune for the day in their scrapbook. :)

Petrol Price Vs. tax increase

I started writing this blog post when the crude oil prices were going through the roof and the Government said it had no option but to increase the fuel prices. At that time I thought that an increase in the fuel prices cause irreversible inflation. I was of the opinion that there should be a direct tax increase/surcharge to cushion the fuel prices, because it is easy to roll back and does not cause the kind of push inflation, that fuel prices do, not as much atleast. Fuel prices directly impact everything. Surcharge at point of sale or surcharge on VAT can always be rolled back, to a larger extent I think. If your subzi wala knows that you are used to paying a little extra for the potatoes, he will be delighted to increase his margins when supply prices drop, if at all..

Today I came across this article here. This is close to what I had in mind when I said that the inflation may be irreversible.

Comments solicited from the Economists.. Was it a good idea to hike up fuel prices knowing that the surge in crude oil prices may have been temporary..

Labels: Economics

The Electrocution: Calvin bites the Dust

This is my Gift, This is my Curse: The Electrocution: Calvin bites the Dust

Azeez Narain never fails to remind me that I lead a rather interesting life! This one though, was really arbit. I got beaten up just because somehow every one around me was from Electrical and I wasn't! One can notice that Sonny is also sitting right next to his love interest on the far left, but he didn't get a thrashing. Why me? Even T was there!

As far as my dance moves are concerned, I don't think I can say much. I'm in a catch 22 s.

Azeez,

I shall have my vengance, in this life or the next!

:)

Labels: Life

The Chocolate Bar

Its Valentine week!! Love is in the air! Sheesh.. I don't know how many of you got this mail, but I did recently. Check this list out

7 Feb Rose Day
8 Feb Propose Day
9 Feb Chocolate Day
10 Feb Teddy Day
11 Feb Promise Day
12 Feb Kiss Day
13 Feb Hug Day
14 Feb VALENTINE’S DAY
15 Feb Slap Day
16 Feb Kick Day
17 Feb Perfume Day

It seems as if the sulky perfume companies did not like being left out, so they were added to the list as an afterthought. So, gloomy as I was, not having received any roses or proposes, trying to enjoy the weather, I did manage to wrench out a chocolate from someone special! I won't go into the details of how it happened, but it did manage to brighten my day, and toss me into a nostalgic mood.

It was a chocolate coated cereal bar that I got (its not her fault, thats the only interesting thing the cafeteria had on offer, I'm sure). Cereal bars are a recent addition to the Indian confectionery list, and have pervaded the markets recently. What this bar did, was it took my thoughts back to a little camping site known as Königstein, Saxony (Sächsischen Schweiz), on the Germany-Czech border, close to the city of Dresden, where I remember having my first cereal bar.


About 40 university interns from all over Germany, studying in universities all over the world came for this camp. Initially I was a little skeptical, I didn't think our conversations would last very long. They would ask us if we lived in huts or on boats in India, and we would have a hard time explaining things, but that was not the way things turned out...

I'll actually skip the details and start from day 2, breakfast, or maybe a little before breakfast. There was a proper arrangement of showers with hot water, however, these showers were paid. 50 Cents for 2 minutes if I remember correctly. Yeah, they still worship Hitler in some parts and do their level best to realize his dreams in whatever little way possible. The bloody showers were timed! And the inn-keeper refused to buy back extra tokens. So you had 2 options. Either you could buy extra tokens and play it safe, or you could try saving some money and risk being stranded with soap on your face and no water to wash it with. No guesses. To make things worse, we didn't realize on the first day that the 'timer' was tied to the tap. So, if you turned the water off, the timers stopped too! I know, it doesn't sound like Archimedes needed to take a bath there to figure that out, but in my defense, most people were busy making a fuss about the facilities (specially the Americans!), and no one bothered to find a way around the problem. So, after the fastest-and-most-expensive-running-water-shower of my life, I headed for the meal area, still groggy from excess of free beer the night before.

The breakfast was a lavish display of the do it yourself type. There were an array of breads, spreads, cold cuts and non-alcoholic drinks. We were told to eat as much as we could, and we were also given zip-lock bags to pack something for the trek, because we were going to be in the jungle for the next 10 hours. So, we made ourselves elaborate sandwiches, layered with what not.. and then, in the corner I noticed a little bag full of something that looked like chocolate bars. They were in fact cereal bars.

If you think I have anything to say about cereal bars, you are wrong. That is not what this post is about :) In fact I myself don't know what it's about! So, lets carry on. We were divided into 4 groups and we set out for a trek. You can see snaps of this camp here. We ended the trek and were welcomed back at base with cheap 2 Euros to a litre wine cartons!

All I really had to do was to say, thank you for the chocolate, I really appreciate it, more than you think!

Labels: Travel

Naming Software (Or naming blog posts??)

Most software companies pay no heed to giving interesting names to their software. Microsoft is probably the worst i'd say. Take 'Office' for example. How obvious is that? I still remember that in a quiz in Modern School, we were asked, "Which software made by Microsoft, is named after one of the buildings in their complex?". I believe I need to explain the general psyche of people taking part in these quizzes. There were free chocolates for being funny, and there was a particular hot chick of modern school sitting in the front row, who used to giggle when people gave funny answers. Do I need to elaborate?? I don't think so.
So, our unanimous decision was "Office". Unfortunately, the quiz master thought it was a good guess despite our honest intention of sounding funny, and as the girl didn't have a brain of her own, we didn't get any giggles either.

The point to be noted is that, (well the answer was Outlook) companies can be pretty unadventurous with the christening of their software. Some companies fare a little better, like Adobe (I'm referring to the erstwhile Macromedia here). Most of their software have very hip and gen-x names. Flash, Shockwave, Flex, ColdFusion. The list is endless. However, none, I repeat none comes close to Ahead Software Inc. Does that ring any bells? Ever burnt a CD with Nero?

When we first realized the connection, we were spell bound to say the least. The name was so perfect, it had the perfect connotations, the ROM(e), the fiddle, the burning! It was so amazing that our instant reaction was to include this as a question in the upcoming Panache! (I have to add that we did feel like idiots when we saw that the Nero logo clearly shows the Colosseum on fire..), but we were impressed nevertheless..

We seldom realize, that a thing as simple as the name of the software can be a great insight into the kind of people who worked on the software! The only vision I ever get of the people at Ahead Software is that of an Intelligent, fun-loving lot..

So much for my visions of people at Microsoft!

If you are still wondering what I am talking about, read this...

Labels: Backlinked

Of MBA's and 6 figure salaries...

Every one wants to be an MBA these days, presumably because the second part soon becomes a 7 figure salary, and there are examples galore of even better. The primary motivation to do an MBA for the youth of the nation, I am told, is the immense demand in the market for MBAs, and hence the salaries. Most aspirants will give you some gibberish about wanting to make decisions and being a natural leader or something of that sort. We all know that precious few actually have those qualities. What's ironical though, is that someone with those qualities wouldn't be advertising them!

The industry wants professional managers to run the business houses. So the MBA tag makes us believe that Anil Ambani can do a much better job of running a business than his father, because he is professionally qualified. Branding is the name of the game. Branding inspires trust, a benchmark for quality.. blah blah...

So, demand in the industry apart.. what else motivates people to do an MBA? Social status? Yes, I would say. Your entire ecosystem in India today expects you to be a manager. If you aren't a manager yet, you are obviously bad at what you do. If you were good at what you did, or if you had an MBA, you would probably be a manager by now. What apart from social status? Where do you see most of the MBA's? Come on.. take a wild guess.. Big powerful corporate houses? No. Finance companies with astronomical growth rates? No.

I find most of the MBAs in matrimonials. None of them seems to be able to find a girl for themselves! (Or be satisfied enough, and not look for other options, confused lot) Seems absurd.. 6 Feet tall, fair, Handsome, Teetotaler, MBA, B. tech., 7 figure Salary.. That should be enough dude!! You do not need a newspaper advertisement to find yourself a girl!! What the F*** were you up to all your life? (Yeah, we know the answer to that one!)

Punjabi auntijis swell at the prospect of showing their son's achievements off.. "You know, Hez been made VP over 10 people in his team" Sure.. Every one is a VP these days.. happens if you make a zillion divisions in your company, you can have a zillion VPs, a zillion presidents, general managers.. A clever trick by HR that went unnoticed I'd say.

However, the fact remains that most handsome MBA guys are available. So, either good girls are in short supply, or these guys have some serious problem.

P.S. This article stands to get un-published if I ever do an MBA :)

When it comes to success in business, an MBA degree is optional. But a GSD, which is only earned by Getting Stuff Done, is required.

Labels: Education, Society

The Riders of Plenty

On a hot summer afternoon in June of 1922, Franz Xaver Kugler, the owner of a Gasthaus high in the Deisenhofner Kugler-Alm in Bavaria realized that he did not have enough beer to accommodate all of his guests for the day, both bicyclists as well as mountain hikers. Hence, he decided to offer his remaining beer, as a mixture of beer and lemon-lime soda of which he had an ample supply, and thus he nick-named his newly-found drink after the bicyclists, the "Radler" ...

I first tasted this amazing drink in Munich. How I got there is another long story...

I was on my way back from Vienna, and I initially wanted to stop over at Salzburg, but when the train got there, it was raining, and clouded. So I decided to stop over at Munich to enjoy my remaining weekend. On the way from Salzburg to Munich, an American father-son duo got on the train and entered my compartment. Weirdly, I was all alone until they entered. Infact I slept in the same train all night when it was stationed at Vienna.. ok.. I'm digressing now. So, this grumpy-pringles-eating-couple hated Salzburg, and could not stop complaining. Initially I was happy that I didn't get off as these people were saying it wasn't worth it. Later I realized that they were just being American. I tried to keep a conversation going with them for as long as I could, and I finally decided to take a nap. (Couldn't tolerate them anymore!)

Unfortunately, when I got to Munich, it was raining there too!! This time I had no alternate plans. I knew of just 2 train schedules to get back home. One from Salzburg, and another from Munich! So, Munich it was. I got off, and took out my newly acquired thin plastic rain coat. It made me like a cross between a giant packed watermelon walking around on his own, and a mobile advertisement for a communication company, but it kept the rain out nevertheless.

So, my agenda as usual was to roam around the streets aimlessly, and give myself 2 hours before departure to find my way back to the Bahnhof. I also wanted to see the
Frauen Kirche, the landmark church in Munich. On my meal agenda again as usual was the local delicacy, weisswurst, with sweet mustard. I wandered aimlessly, and cluelessly following whatever little part of the track was visible from inside my plastic cocoon, and I reached the city centre. Now weekends are boring in Europe, its a sleepy place, and all the shops are closed, there is no one out on the roads, and the entire place looks rather desolate.

I didn't exactly know what to do next. I wasn't hungry and I could see the twin towers :) of the Frauenkirche in the distance, so I started off in their general direction. To cut a long story short, they were rather disappointing considering even the most arbitrary churches in Germany were breathtaking.

Back to my story, so I walked back to the city Markt Platz, and entered an old Bier Garten,the kinds they show on TV during Oktober Fest. Long dark wooden tables, huge glasses of Bier and Plump pink waitresses! Here I ordered Weisswurst/senf and a Radler to go
with it. This drink completely overshadowed the food! It was amazing, almost sweet, and yet it had the distinct taste and body of beer. If it werent so expensive, I would had a few more, but I just decided to wait to get back to Siegen and get myself some bottles!

In Siegen, I tried the Radler from the local brewery, Krombacher. This I distinctly remember did not taste as good, for reasons unknown to me. Some part of the taste was lost owing to my humble lodgings, but the taste itself was a bit different. There is another story about the Krombacher brewery, but I'll leave that for another time..

Some internet sites have some rather innovative recipes for making Radler at home. The original recipe ofcourse contains one half sweet lemonade, but some sites recommend sprite and what not. Although I have never tried mixing it for myself, I feel that mixing lemonade into pre-carbonated beer will end up making the concoction flat. Sprite may be a better option. I'll quote some of the recipes here:

You can make your own Radler by mixing 1 part German beer to one part lemon-flavored soda such as 7-Up.

or

1/2 Beer
1/2 Sweet Lemonade (I suggest using soda)

If however you can get your hands on bottled Radler, in any of its forms, you must try it!

Labels: Travel

Question your Smile :)?

Do you smile because you find something funny, or do you smile in pity?
Do you smile because you tried your best, or do you smile when you finally resign thinking the effort is futile?
Do you smile because you understand a lot more than others, or do you smile because you understand nothing?
Do you smile because you wish to be affable, or do you smile when you want to avoid conversation?
Do you smile when you are happy, or do you smile at others helplessness?
Do you smile to show your feelings, or do you smile to hide them?

Do you smile for a reason, or do you need a reason to smile?

Labels: Life